Apperantly, I have a lot of work to do on myself.

I have decided I really am not overly fond of cyclops. As Talron said, talking to a rock may be easier.
But I’m doing what I always do and starting in the middle instead of from the beginning.
Fuck, so much happened I don’t even really know where to start.

Best memory, we first went up to Talron with our emissary’s plans as to a road and such. He backed us fully on our choice to allow the road and even found it a very good idea. He said it was better to keen an eye on who was coming and going, then have citadels assfucks surrounding us from behind. He has a point…..and while he had the idea of a toll, even, that never came to be.

The dryad in our woods, though, was none too happy. She was pissed off that things were happening in her woods without her say so, and while she bitchily gave us permission to make our road, she up and left us.

So Semie goes and makes sure the road is okay to build. She gets her ass politely chewed, and, oh look, Illoria the black bear! I resisted the urge to pet her. After all, that would be demeaning and rude- plus I had to wonder if I could even get close enough, bitch of a mood our Lady Dryad was in.

None the less, the dryad’s woods are now to the west, near our keep’s boarders there. No one is permited in or, I assume, near. Snobby little bitch, she is, but not a bad woman, I wouldn’t think. She has her reasons to be the way she is, and I’m not going to judge her for it.

After that, it was back to the keep to check on Simon. We found him outside of the keep, running a gambling game in one of the guard houses, several off duty- and a few on duty-guards causing a general mess inside there.


They shut up right the fuck fast when Ann and I entered. Ann, of course, had a real problem with it. I found the entire thing generally funny as all fuck, and not that big a deal.

Thus proceeded a big ass fucking argument. Ann was irritated, Simon being a peculate pain in the fucking ass. And I, of course, was no great help- I was mostly on Simon’s side. I saw no harm in a little less then fully acceptable behavior, so long as no one got hurt. After all, this place is as boring as hell, a white-washed bland place of work and ghosts.

Ann also didn’t like the idea of Whistles coming, mostly because his fucking name bugged at her. Now, I get it- I like Simon, in a weird way. He’s nuttier then a fucking bag full of acorns, has some damned nasty information in his past (We’ll get to that), he’s rude, he’s arrogant-

-the worst part is, the absolute bitch-kitty of it is, I can’t dislike him for it. In fact, the more I’m around him the more I like him.

I suppose that’s my problem- I don’t dislike many people. It’s just not in my nature to mistrust and second guess absolutely everyone I meet. And yes, there are people I don’t like and don’t trust.

That’s not to say I trust Simon. But rather, I think he is deserving of a chance to earn trust.

I highly doubt anyone has ever given him a chance to be anything other then what he is. I doubt anyone has ever given him a reason to be loyal to them.

And from the way things are going, with the way Ann and Talron think of him, it’s going to be the same here. We will give him nothing but money and then, when he stabs us in the back for a higher bidder, look him in the eye and call him traitor, even though he was never loyal to start with. Because he never gave him a fucking reason to be.

I don’t care how fucking innocent you claim to be, you’ve done something in your past you’re ashamed of. Everyone spends time telling me my past doesn’t matter, it’s who I am now that does- but fuck if they don’t refuse to treat him the same way.

Anyway, we’ll see what comes of this. If he backstabs us, we’ll find him and make him sorry, that’s for fucking sure. If he doesn’t, then we have one slightly nutty but generally tolerable companion.
Ann wound up storming out of that little argument. Honestly, it was two on one for the most of it, and I think Simon was rather amused from start to end, if his little gift of a gold coin to me and half laughing glances shot at me and then Ann were any indication. Didn’t seem especially upset.

We were assaulted by our emissary almost immediately again after we left Simon, and he was pleased to note that everything had gone so well with the building of the road, though a bit perturbed at the dryad’s actions and words.

The more we work with him, the more I decide I sorta like him. He’s fucking messy as all hell and talks so fucking fast it makes my head spin, but he’s patient and good natured, down to earth and seems fairly laid back. He does well with Ann, and he doesn’t irritate me the way most people with any power seem to be able to.

His next matters to discuss were considerably more serious then a road going through the citadel.


The first coupla things weren’t all that big. We had a threat of hill giants that might spring up- frightening, yes, scary as all hell, but not anything we had to panic over right away. Sides, there wasn’t a lot we could even do right off…..it would take planning and time before we knew how to handle something that bad. Hill giants, with the help of some orcs, took our castle once already, months ago.

They’ re nasty little fuckers, and from what I’ve seen, stupid as hell. But that being stupid makes ‘em all the harder to take down.

Well, that and we’re like, four fucking inches tall compared to them.


Matter number two was that there were going to be a fuck load of soldiers coming through our keep and it’s surrounding area, in order to take care of the orc threat and repair the bridge to the south of us, between us and Shoulwater.

And sure as fuck, that happened. First roughly one hundred and fifty, then more and more as they kept coming. Well over one thousand in roughly a month. People, of course, got real chatty about that real fast. Again, not a huge deal- they were a Good Thing, in a way, I guess. I mean, the more that happens the more I feel like we’re bein’ put on a leash, and the less I trust the citadel. But protection is protection, right?


Right?


What the fuck ever.


Matter the next was one of the most disturbing of all. The citadel insisted that we bring more soldiers into our keep- keeps- in order to protect those ‘pathways’ I wrote about earlier. The portals. Two hundred in Shoulwater and at least four hundred soldiers here. Not necessarily citadel ones, either, which made me feel better, anyway. But we were given the impression that if we didn’t get it done and fast, we wouldn’t have a choice.

So, we went back to speak with Talron again. We discussed the issues at hand with him, and got his full support once more in the actions we decided to take, such as bringing Ann’s father in off the council to be the one who inspected our portal.

And then Ann had to open her big mouth. There’s very little I don’t share with her- at least, not on a personal scale. She’s the only other woman around I really feel close to, hell, just about the only person in this place. She knows…..my thoughts on a lot of things.

And she’s taken it into her elven head that Talron and I are a couple of fucking stupid humans who are dancing around each other. And maybe we are- erm, stupid people dancing around each other, that is, ‘cause after some shit I found out I wouldn’t use the word human to describe him. I could be so freakin’ wrong about that, though.

So she goes and says ‘I think Semei has something of a more personal nature to speak with you about’ or some shit, and of course I can’t very well say ‘no I don’t’ when I’m the one that wanted to speak with him when he had more time, and went and blurted it out.

Sides, I guess it needed to be said.

All the same, for like, five fucking minutes all I could think was too soon, too soon, too soon, too soon- too FUCKING soon, and then he was just fucking watching me and I had to speak.

I had planned on having planned something to say, but I’d never gotten the chance. Between the emissary and everything else, I just never had a chance to think about it.

What came out, then, was a lot more elegant then I expected it to be.

I told him that my loyalty was to him, to people I care about here and now, this home, this future. The people that claimed I was one of them, I said, mean nothing to me until proven otherwise, and I owed them nothing unless it became apparent I did.

And I took off my necklace.

It was hard to do- I was surprised to find it was hard to do. I clutched it in my fist like it was beyond precious, and fuck if I wasn’t near tears.

But then, a choice is always hard to make, isn’t it? I said before I didn’t want to have to choose. But I’m glad now, that I know- we all know- which side I would choose, if it gets down to it. As hard as it was to pull off that necklace- to lay aside a life I may have had- I’d do it again if I had to.

He looked at that ring, in my hand, for a very long time. So did Ann- but I only mostly felt their looks. Couldn’t look up for anything, that was for sure. I may have just run from the room.

In reply, he asked me if it would make a difference if I knew. And with him, of all people, asking me, I couldn’t be anything less then fucking honest. I got no problem lying, but I just- couldn’t, not to him.

It’s stupid as all fuck, but I know, I know, I never could. Lie to him, I mean.

So I told him the truth- that I didn’t know. The look he gave me was typically undecipherable- typically Talron, I should say- and then he went to his desk and pulled out something.

He explained the parchment that he then put in front of us. He told me Damon’s last name-Delfott- and informed me that yes, he did have a wife roughly fitting my description, with a first name initial of S, up until two years ago.

So I might be Semei Delfott. Kinda pretty.

He agrees with Ann and I that this entire thing might just be a very intricate plot. Everything I know might be a lie, he said. Talron’s idea was this; that I knew too much, before, and that it somehow interfered with what needed to be done. Or perhaps I picked the direction they didn’t want me to go in. So by erasing my memories, they fixed their mistake and started over from the beginning.


It makes a whole fucking lot of sense.

He asked me to put the necklace back on. He said those who knew I was supposed to be wearing it would know if I took it off. Even if they’d never seen it on me. I'll explain that later, too.

This topic lead right into that of the orb we took from that place with the giant vampire, and Talron’s past.
The orb we’d gotten from there apparently has control over the dead. And if Talron had used it to take down the Knight, it would have killed him.

He would, apperantly, have been willing to let it.

We discussed it more, but he wouldn't or couldn't give a lot of information. He said if I wanted to know more about why the cyclops were being targeted, that I should ask a cyclops, though talking to a rock may be easier.

We also discussed Simon. Talron and Ann, as stated before, do not trust or like him, and The brigalron would have had Simon arrested or maybe thrown out if not for us. Not only because his loyalty can, apperantly, be bought, but because he used to take women's-he took their breasts.

As much as that disgusts me, the words it's a part of my life I don't like to talk about ring clearly in my mind. He has no pride in it, and so I don't judge him by it.

Maybe that makes me a sick and disgusting person, maybe that makes me someone evil and awful, but I don't know his reasons behind his actions, and I refuse to hold even something so apperantly horrific against him.

And with that and a few other topics covered, our meeting should have been over.

Now, what happened next is a more typically Semei moment- open foot, insert entire fucking leg.

I told him I almost wished I wasn't married.

And then ran from the room like a spooked rabbit.

I don't know what the fuck convenced me to say that. But it's the truth, you know? Just is, and there's nothing I can do about it.

The next time I saw him was after I went to speak with that cyclops.

I swear, I understand why people would want those infuriating bat-shit insane ass whack jobs dead.

Yeah, okay, so I kinda like the big guy, I'm just being dramatic.

He took me litterally when I said I wanted to speak about Talron, and the next thing I know, I'm trying to get my point across to a cyclops who doesn't seem to understand a word I say, getting more and more fucking flustered by Mr I Will Stare Out The Window and Drink Wine In a Superior Manner Whilst Laughing My Fucking Ass Off At Semei Who Is Only Trying To Help, Damn It.

I hit him with a pillow. Screw not looking at him, he was fucking laughing at me.

What's worse, is there's this little part of me that's happy I made him laugh. I don't see him laugh often- hardly at all, I think.

Son of a bitch, I can't even get mad at him when he's fucking laughing at me. AllI can do is sulk and repeatedly bitch slap that little corner of myself until it falls down whimpering into a corner.

Bad Semei. Bad Semei!

Anyway. So I ended up getting no where....found out that this guy used to be a 'gaurdian' of some kind (and forbid you ask 'what', because you will be looked at oddly and told you have a shallow interpritation of, oh, I don't know, every fucking thing) and that he blamed cyclops for his 'undoing'. They don't know why.

And, apperantly, it happened three thousand years ago, at least, in their time.

Now, let me pose a question.

How in the fuck could Talron have been about three thousand years ago?

Wait, no, don't answer. I don't even want to know, though I'm just sure as hell my lucky little ass will eventually find out.

So I left Ann and the other two and went to spy on one of the five watching me in the keep. I got her name and description, and she, as far as I could tell, never knew I was there watching or had contact with any of the others there to protect me. Or, um, maybe protect me.

We also went to see Adremadies, (another name I know I just spelled so wrong he'd never recognize it if he saw it himself) and lo, who should be there but Simon? Well, he just scuttled out of our way like startled little mouse, and in we went. Well, after hours of waiting for him to be done and one ghostly apperance. Yeah, we still have some of them hanging about, though they don't seem to interact with anyone or anything. Seem to being the key words.

We asked him if my little necklace was enchancted, and the answer was a yes. It was, he said, made to disertain the wearer's health, and if they were alive or dead.

Now, here comes more confusion and doubts.

I wondered before, why would Damon give me that ring? Now here's our possible answer.

Which could remove some doubt, or not. I don't know- it only confused me more. But I agreed to get it also made so that I could sense the other ring that went with it, the one that allowed the person on the other end to 'feel' me.

And so weeks past. Whistles came, and turned out to be quiet the fascinatition, he did. A man who did not exist before now and told stories that weren't great, but decently good, who said hardly a word but entertained troops without flinching.

He's young- I'd say around my age, maybe a yearish younger- but with white hair. And shy as a wild animal- Simon's opposit. Speaking of, he left the very day Whistles came, wearing a bracelet he'd had Adremidies. Besides Lim, that man is the only one here that I know of capible of even doing so, thus why I'd gone to him for my necklace.

And so days went by uneventfully.

Until Talron gave me- us- my- our- surprise.

We were set upon one evening by sevearl ladies, who proceeded to preen and primp us without so much as a word. We were fussed and messed over, dressed, out hair done, our weapons and armour placed on us, and for the first time in memory I had make up lightly applied.

It felt weird and I'd never been more self conciouse then when we were lead out with gaurds on either side of us into the courtyard, and who else but Talron appered on the other side.

Now. I hold no illusions to my apperance- Ann is beautiful -Ivy is beautiful. The dryad was beautiful....Illoria- Illoria was beautiful. Particuarly to Lim Dul. To him, she was lovely.

I, however, am not. Cute, perhaps; boyishly cute. Men do not find short, black hair in constant dissary attractive, nor someone built as myself.

I had never even thought about it in the past; now I had reason to. Standing next to Ann, I felt like a clown, or a little girl who'd gotten into her mother's make up.

All thoughts of oh fuck I look so fucking stupid what the fuck is going on changed to simply what the fuck is going on when things got on a role, though.

We were lead to a pedistal, and Talron and gaurds and soilders came up out from beneath the keep with out cleric, Thandrel, carrying an item designed for telling the way home by the stars- by always knowing north, I think. I wasn't sure a lot about it. Everyone but a few gaurd and Talron moved back, leaving Ann and I rougly alone in that courtyard. Thandrel set up his odd little item, and suddanly-

-suddanly the entire world just flipped on it's ass. That thing began to spin, and glow, and then I didn't know right from left for what felt like hours.

It wasn't even a full breath. And when I let it out and got my bearings back, not for the first time in my life, I wasn't where I'd been.

And fuck. Fuck do I wish I had the words to describe this place better.

It must have been so beautiful, once. It still is, in a horrible sort of way.

I don't even know if I should be writing about it. We weren't supposed to be there, Ann and I.

Nabudel.

Na-bu-fucking-del.

It was nothing more- and yet so much more- then a ruins. A dying, dead city that must have been breathtaking in it's glory, and I can just see the alabastor stone and marble floors that must have made up it's grandest buildings. It was huge, in every way just so big, and what the hell could have so much power and be so fucking, fucking evil to destory this place?

Wait, I know, so yeah.

Talron told us he'd brought us here to get something left behind- something of the 'old kings'. He lead us down the streets, finding ways that were clear. There wasn't one single hint of wind, in this place. If I've ever been anywhere so perfectly, perfectly still I don't remember it. But buildings still groaned and collapsed around us. Almost as if they simply didn't have the strength to remain upright, even without help of wind to push them down.

I felt my heart wrench. More so when Talron spoke, when I heard his voice. He sounded so aching, so hurt. As if this had occured yesterday, not years ago.

I hated the man who had done this just because he put that tone into my friend's voice. Even if he'd not done the things he had, that evil man made people I cared for suffer, and that is un-for-fucking-givable, thank you very much.

And all useless little Semei could do was touch his arm. I couldn't even offer condolences- they would be meaningless, in the face of something like this.

We moved through this beautiful, ravaged city, quiet and somber, respectful and troubled. Talron lost himself in memories, in thought, speaking rarely and then as if dreaming. I think there were moments when he could have almost forgotten who we were.

It's odd. Since the moment I met him, Talron has always seemed so big, so powerful and collected and calm and rational and able to handle anything.

Here, ironically enough, in a place where he should have seemed the same way- big and powerful- for the first time he felt....human. Small and fragile like any of us, vulnerable and open. Real.

I think it finnally hit me that he is just a person. Failable, able to be frightened, hurt, sad, confused, just as any of us.

We walked for a long time, crossing a bridge made of two buildings that had collapsed- fucking depressing, that was- and finnally up and up huge ass stairs into a manor of sorts high above our heads.

Once up there, we realized we could see the entirety of this place. It was easily bigger then our own citadel, and probably once far more lovely. It was a citadel, once. It must have been.

We walked through hallways with Talron's ocassional narration, and he spoke as though he'd just been there. He described the council room to us, where everyone stood- the meetings that sometimes took months or years, and his longing to hear even that fussing and yelling once again. We saw, in the same room, the collapsed torsoe of a something that had been destoryed. Everyone was very careful to go around it, and Talron told us it's name- his name- had been- was- Valor. He'd once been one of their other gaurdians, but our bad guy had taken control of him, and caused him to attack this place.

Through more hallways, past something that damn well growled at us, over a broken and crummbling floor, and up even more stairs.

We were taken then, into the only part of the building that seemed strangly untouched by everything that had happened. We approched a circular door we had seen something like once before, with a symbol of a tree of it. There were five other symbols around that tree, and two were broken- cracked, like they'd been hit by someone with a fuck of a temper.


The men who'd been with us this whole time formed a 'wall' on either side of us, and Talron just strode right up to that door. Someone said something about 'three of the wards still standing', or some such, and Talron did not seem especally shocked. He lifted a hand to the door, and something glowed for a moment before the tree on the door did, too. Then it slid out of the way and peice by peice a tunnel almost litterally fell into place. When the world stopped shaking and my ears stopped ringing, Talron headed with a few men down that hallway. Most of his men did not follow, but crowded Ann andmyself in. Only one had a prostest- that we were not of this city- but he waved it off.

He stepped into a room at the end of the hall, and knelt. Ann told me later he was whispering prayers for the dead. When he finnally rose, he spoke more louder, and his voice just boomed in an almost scary way. Can't remember exactly what it was he said, but when he said it- and introduced himself as being 'from the house of Talron', the entire floor started to move like a fuckin' puzzle. All around him, it shifted and lurched and moved and weaved, and the collums rose up around him. Each had a chest on it.

There was a long, tense moment as he approched on and closed his eyes, concentrating, his hand on it. Everyone held their breath, was tense and nervouse, and flinched and fell back a bit when he opened it. That seemed to both annoy and amuse him all at the same time as he reached in and pulled out three or four little items. He approches us once more, and handed each to one of the men with him....

...and then he handed one little case to me.

I don't need to be told what a big deal that is. I could see it in the faces around us- on his face. I tucked it safly away, dispit some upset amoung his men, and we headed out.

Right into the others waiting outside, who all instantly, instantly knelt.

"My King." They said, and, again, not for the first time, my mind just went wait what the fuck did I just fucking miss?!

And then he pulled out a crown, from one of those little things he'd taken from that chest, and the moment it was settled on his head they did it again.

He rose, and started to speak- but before he could finish, we had a surprise guest.

The Man In Black started to laugh.

It was a full sensory crash for little Semei.

I'm not afraid of many people. Fuck it, when it comes right down to it, I'm not scared of our ex sire, I'm not scared of anyone in the citadel, from Helix Mandrell to Nadir, (an asshole with an attitude) I'm not scared of King or Ivy, I'm not even scared of people in the worse parts of town that would kill you without much thought, I'm not scared of Simon.

This man, though- he petrifies me. I couldn't think to do anything, just cower back behind Talron and hope we didn't die too painfully.

Now, Talron knew who this man is- I told him about the man in black before we came here. Some, anyway. And so it both scared the fuck out of me and impressed me when he stepped right up and told him to get the fuck gone, like now.

The Man In Black, though, was not inclined to listen. It took just a wave of his hand to send all the men that had come with us back to the main gates of this place, and only we and Talron remained.

Now, I don't think that was supposed to happen- Talron not dissapering, like that. Apperantly it had something to do with touching that orb, because that's what our bad guy muttered before he tried again. And damned if it almost didn't work this time, either. Talron fought, activly fought it, and seemed as though he'd stay with us just because of the wanting to. If I hadn't been so fucking scared, I may have done something- as it remained, I just stood and tried not to breathe loudly.

Talron lost the battle to remain, and got slipped off to where his men were. Not hurt, we were assured, just returned to the starting point, and we had until sunrise to get back there ourselves.

Apperantly, he was not allowed to interfere in our lives- but interfereing in theirs was differant. And apperantly, this did not count as interferring with us.

He taunted us a bit, and then swished away. Leaving us alone in near-blackness with his little gift to us growling in the shadows.

A creature with three heads and six legs, a bad attitude and a willingness to fight rushed us out of the darkness.

A quick battle later, we realized something. Terrifying it may be, but this was just an animal, little smarter then any other beast, fighting only because it had been told to or it was defending something, and we had just slaughtered it.

By the end of the fight, this magnificent creature that had been so marvelously impressive was reduced to a pain wracked mask of itself on the floor, it's one conciouse head roaring at us in pain and defiance that seemed pitable and just fucking pathetic as all hell now that it couldn't even get up.

There was a moment in which I thought Ann was going to let it live, even though she'd made an oath on that damned bow of hers and we'd seen what happened if she didn't kill her target after doing that.

If she'd been too soft hearted, I would have killed it, though it broke my heart as well. We acted without thought, just as when we'd done what we had to Illoria, and again we paied for it by ending a life that did not need to end.

We had no choice, by the end of it, and while I'm sorry it happened the way it did, I can't say I'm near half as heart broken as Ann. Fuck, she was damn near to bawling over that thing, and while she took bits from it to sell, she was as sober and quiet as if she'd just murdered a child.

Didn't help my mood none.

And so we left.

It took us nearly twenty fucking minutes to find our way back over that damned broken floor leading into this room- oh so mysteriously the path laied out by Talron's men was gone- but after a bit ann hooked up a harness and pully, and got us across. Then back outside, making our way as fast as wefucking could.

Apperantly, there was something under that rubble bridge. I can't tell you what the fuck grabbed me as we crossed it, or how the fuck I got loose, but we were damned lucky with that one. Tenticals, that's all I know. The thing had fucking tenticals.

Ann crossed at a seperate point. I kept half expecting the damn thing to just reach up and pluck her in, rope and all, but she got across more safely then I did.

But that wasn't the bitch-kitty part. Oh, no, that part was just fun compared to what happened next.

Walking along with Ann scouting ahead, all I felt was a hand on my shoulder and something try to grab ahold of me. I don't know what he'd have done if he'd gotten control over me, but I shook him of, and pulled my dagger on the one person that scared me beyond anything I can remember. And for just that moment, I didn't feel afraid.

I just felt pissed off.

Especally when he called me 'little girl'.

We bantered. I hate to say it, but we did. And then he threatened the woman the one I knew about, who was at our keep watching me. I warned him to stay away- he just about laughed in my face. There was fuck all I could do to him, and he knew it.

He pretended like he knew me, before.

I hope like fuck he pretended like he knew me before.

And then he said the 'chimera' wasn't the danger he'd spoken of ealier.

No sooner did he glid off again then I heard Ann scream.

Were.

And fuck me, it wasn't my fucking King, neither.

I took off in that direction in time to find Ann trying to talk her way out of being lunch, and once she got behind me, I yanked out my silver dagger. I warned the big ass fucker to back off, but he ignored me like I wasn't even there.

Apperantly, this were was in the vision Ann and the other had, with me in it. Pointing. at them. With this big guy by my side. To kill, apperantly, or maim at the very fucking least.

I swear, I didn't exsist at that moment. Every scratch I made on him. even with the silver dagger, healed, and he tossed me aside like nothing.

And all I could think was, I'm tired of seeing my friends die. I'm tired of getting people hurt. I don't want this. I don't want it. Fuck it, I'm done. I give. If it means more people I care about die, why should I fucking fight it? Fucking why even bother?

And I told the one person that haunted my dreams that I would give him whatever he wanted if he called this monster off.

Ann just about had a fit.

Hell, it didn't matter anyway. He still bit her, and apperantly it was all a test- one we, or I, failed. I had only a moment to watch one of the strongest women I know break down into tears. Silent, none the less, which made them all the worse to witness- I've seen her cry maybe once before, and I barely knew her then. Now, seeing someone that had my respect and friendship so much break down into helpless, silent tears was heartwrenching.

The beast took off, and moments later one of Talron's scout's appered. A moment of shock, and then he was happily shouting that he'd found us.

Talron looked as bad as I felt. He didn't say shit to me, but 'do you still have it', and yes, I still fucking had it, I was exhausted and near to tears and hurting and scared but yes, I have your fucking box, King Talron, fuck you and your damned mother fucking box.



I nodded and wordlessly handed it to him.

Oh, come on, here. I didn't meant that little rant for shit, I just- needed to get it out of my system.

Of course I still had it. It was important to him, so I wouldn't loose it. It was my responsibilty, and he'd put his trust in me to take care of it. I wouldn't let him down, not as I had already too many times.

Even if it pissed me right the hell off to hear that question first thing, I understand why he asked it. It was just- I was on edge. Am still.

He took the stupid box, and we went home.

Back home, I didn't get any answers, just more damned questions. I appologized for what had happened, and it was if I hadn't spoken. But with everything that had just happened, I wasn't surprised. Nerves were raw and I think everything tetered pretty fucking dangerously on the edge.

But he told me he didn't think that person was in my head at all. Rather, that he was spying on me, and making me think he was. All part of the plot. I hope like hell that's true.

After we had discussed things to a point, and discovered Talron could likely be three fucking thousand years old, like the place we'd just been, we headed to our respective areas. On my way up to my room, I was- litterally- dragged into our little portal room by Dagon, and like a little boy, he demanded to know if I had really gone to Nabudel. He was excited and animated when I explained yes, we had gone to Nabudel, and described it for him, and we talked about it for a bit. He told me some of it's background, and then, after conversation about it pettered out, mentioned that yes. he'd seen the same man that I so hated watching me watch that lady. I got his promise he would come and get me if he saw that man threatening her, or that man threating any of the others.

I also got some very dragonly (?) advice at to what to do about my little situation. That is, advice no sane person would take.

I plan to see Talron again, as soon as possible. I'm- I want to make sure he's alright. And then I suppose things will carry on as normal here. Simon, I hope, will return soon with information, and I'll keep an eye out for our man, lurking about. I also plan to speak more with Dagon, I hope. He's really quite adorable when he's excited. It lifted my spirits, talking with him- like talking to a younger sibling, as odd as it seems, as he's probably much older then me. But there's a quaint blutness to him that makes him seem younger.

Well. For now, things are settling down, and there's nothing more to be done until there's a free moment. So.

Oh! And, I forgot to mention, we've gotten out soilders. More men from Talron's home, men that are his friends and allies- I'm honored and a little intemidated to have them among us.

Soilders are at our other keep, too, uninvited Citadel guards.....I'm avoiding that side of our life, for this moment. I don't want fuck all to do with them, and I'm quiet content on this par of our two keeps.

Ann has been trying to find a way to move the statue that activated the mini-keep in both keeps at once, and has recruted our cleric's help-he thinks he's figure out a way to get the statue in both keeps, but Ann may be unable to do it. But then, maybe she can. She's full of surprises, and never once fails to make me a bit edgy around her. In kind of a good way. But ther wer people- deformed, infirmed people- that are going to come to our keep for thart statue alone, looking for acceptance and shelter, so I hope she manages it. For their sakes, if nothing else. People shun them for their apperance, and that? Just pisses me off.

I'm both frightened and excited to see what's going to happen next.

I have a feeling this is about to be something like being stuck in a run away cart. You can control it to a point, but in the end you just hang on and hope you don't break yourself when you hit something.

Taking a step back.

Yeah, so I'm writing an extra entry this time. Sue me, I've got a lot to think about.

After talking to Ann and giving myself some breathing room, I've realized I need to take a step way the fuck back, here. It's hard as hell, but I need to remove myself from this fucking mess and look at it as indifferantly as it's possible to.

Emotionally, I want to just blindly accept that Damon is my husband and he loves me. I want to think that I have freinds and companions that are watching over me simply because they care about me, and together we're working for something good.

Once I take one or one hundered really fucking deep breaths, this starts making less and less sense. I'm not a naturally optomistic person. Fuck, I'm downright morbid, half the time.

There are some things here that just aren't fitting nicely into the works. For one, why the fuck was loosing my memories so fucking important to this plan? Or maybe it wasn't- maybe it was that they needed the Man in Black, and that was the only way to get him.

For two, if me not remembering is so nessicary, why tell me even as much as they have? Why would Damon even once have said it should have been me, the first time we meet, knowing full well that would make me curiouse. Why would he sign a note your dear Damon, or give me the ring, or tell me even as much as he has?

Could be the whole story is a lie. Could be they're faking not wanting to tell me what they have, when the real story is something differant.

It pisses me off, to think I've been so neatly played.

Ann has a point. I'm not going to loose what and who I have now over someone that may not be real at all.

Talron is, if nothing else, a very remarkable friend. One of the few people I let myself feel close to. I don't want to loose that, or destroy my future because of a past that could be nonsense.

I'll speak to him again and try to remedy what I've done. If it in fact turns out that I'm wrong, that everything is exactly as it seems to be- well, then. I guess I'll have to make that choice I'm afraid of making.

Talron or Damon. Ann and my newfound companions, or old friend and allies.

I highly doubt there will be middle ground.

I'm not going to approch the five in the keep, I don't think. Not right away, at least.


On another note, some things I forget to mention, being a fucking emotional useless mess.

Dagon is not a dragon. At least, not according to the man that died a few weeks ago. No one knows what he is, but I was assured a dragon he is not. Now, he's just one hella big confusing knot, that little fuck, but damn if he's not interesting. Funny as fuck, but interesting. I'd like to find out more about him. That....might be kinda hard. Not exactly a forthcoming guy- or rather he is, but not with anything too damned useful.

Simon's chosen form of entertainment is a bard named 'Whistles', I think, so dumb-fuck nickname like that. what the fucking hell is with these people and there fucking lame-ass aliases? I swear, I'm gonna start second guessing Ann's name, if this bullshit keeps up. Of course, technically, her name isn't Ann, but then, I can't spell her real one for hell and anyway, she's Ann unless I'm pissed. Ann is just easier, and sides, it's cute, like her.

Yeah, I'm not pissed at her anymore. She meant well, and she's got more brains and balls then me anyday. She just wants me to keep my eye on the prize and not get hurt, and I can't stay mad at someone for that.

No matter how much I want to dislike her, for her own good.

Simon's also trying like all hell to figure out where our fish are coming from. Maybe, eventually, we'll show him.

A long time ago, months ago, we ended up in this insane-ass topsy fucking turvey adventure surrounding a miniature keep. A lot of shit happened, but the end result was our miniature keep was no longer tiny. It didn't take too damn long before we found out how we could likely make it full size, and we needed something to do with it.

Well, suffice to say a lot more shit went down. I wish I could explain in detail, but fuck me- I honestly don't remember so much of it. It was, like I said, months ago, and with the way we live, one insane fucking mess blurrs right on into the next, without much pause. Two storylines get real tangled up, here, anyway.

Anyway, end result again. We get our keep to a little town called Shoulwater, and there's this-special was we have that lets us go from one to the other. (There's another like it, too, that used to go somewhere. Ain't saying where or where it is.) I ain't openly saying what they are, but there's more 'pathways' around like them. So that's what we use to get the fish to our keep near the citadel.

I just forsee things getting a bit messy if Simon finds that out right off.

Apperantly, our town of Jhadu ( damn, I know I spelled that wrong.) has been throughly abandoned to the beasts and animals that live near it. According to our new emmassary, it's a safe haven, of sorts, for them. In hopes, he says, of nature taking it back. I have my doubts, but then, considering what lives in the woods near there, maybe I'm wrong.

Shane and Thalice....wonder whatever became of those two. Fucking interesting pair- maybe one day we'll find 'em again. They had more then a fair share of secrets, and I'm a naturally curiouse little fucker with a knack for getting into trouble. I'd like to see what trouble they have to offer.

Ivy and King, too. Kinda miss that big furball- it was nice, having him at my back. And sides, he was fun. A dick, but a fun dick....and still a decent guy.

Guess Illoria's still black-bearing around, out there. Havn't seen Lim at all...poor fuck's so screwed over this he's gone all shut-in on us. I feel like shit about it, poor big guy, but right now, we've got bigger problems. Seems like we're the two left, besides Talron and his ilk, to handle this place.

Fun.

Things were never supposed to be so complecated.

Do you have any idea what it's like, not knowing what in your life is real? Wondering if everything you do or say in based in fact or lies?

I'm scared. I don't know if I'm more frightened to find out that I'm just a pawn in the game, that everything I've been told is just to manipulate me....or if I'm more frightened of finding out that it's true, and having to make a choice. Between who Semei is now and who she was then.

I don't feel like a bad person. I'm callouse, at times, impaitent and ornery and snappish, but not bad. I'd like to think whatever I was doing to land me in this situation, it wasn't something I'd be ashamed of.

Of course, I have very little shame.

I told Talron today. Everything. He knows I'm 'married', knows about the people I'm associated with, everything. Apperantly, he knew something odd was up before, thanks mainly to reports to the citadel from five people in the keep very concerned with my wellfare.

Or at least, they seem to be.

I'm getting tired of that phrase, 'they seem to be'. I'm getting tired of second guessing every action and word.

Talron is keeping half on eye on those five people for me, or at least the reports sent.

On another note entirely, before I loose my sanity altogether, our new friend seems to be making himself quite at home. He's gambling and drinking already, but so far as I can tell, harmed no one, and doesn't seem of a mind too. He's bored, and I can't blame him; but he apperantly has plans to liven the place up some, and I'm all for giving him roughly a free rein with it.

He needs something to do besides run around as our little spy. Ann's forgetting, I think, that for all he may not be the best person, he's still a person. You can't expect someone to swim while shoving them back under the water.

Sometimes I forget that with him myself.

But as it stands, he's happy to be in our employ, for now, and perhaps eventually will become someone I can call friend or, at the least, not an enemy. We questioned him about the men who hired him to kill us and who and what he knew about them; the answer was very little. He didn't see faces or get any information.....it was an exchange of gold for a life. Two, in this case; though he did give us what information he could. With some talk, we managed to convince him to act as a spy for us- we'd pay him, of course- to find out more information about these men. As well as some others, the ones Ann and I know from a menagerie that have the same scarab design Simon saw on these men.

Our new emassary arrived today, as well. He seems flighty and chaotic, a walking mess and a talking mess, on top of it- five hundered miles an hour, I swear- but a decent enough man. Or at least, what I've seen of him. he explained that a there were plans to put a road straight bang through our keep's property. Now, this is a decently good idea. I got reservations about it, of course, but the pros seem to outweigh the cons.

Aside from the little fact that we've got a dyrad hanging out in our woods. And she would be highly unhappy if any kind of work started without her permission.

Apperantly, Talron has something he wants us to be at the keep for the first week of next month; two weeks from now, I belive. A surprise, he says. I have an insatiable sense of curiousity, and the only thing keeping me from moping about right now like a fucking broken down horse is wondering what it is.

It doesn't help my mood that Ann scolded me today, after I spoke with him. Lectured me, in fact. I'm only not angry because she meant well. She's concerned for me, and that's all well and good, but I wish she wouldn't be. I don't want....I don't want to have to choose. She became a freind before I knew what was happening, and I hate to think of loosing or disappointing her.

Beyond that, she doesn't understand. How painful this is, how confusing. She speaks as though everything beyond the moment is not important. I understand and respect that mindset, but it's not one I can adhere to.

She brought up that everything could be an act, could be fake in my past with these people. No shit. You think I've not considered that? You think that doesn't terrify me? That I could have just lost one of the few men I respect and care for to a false husband? That there is truely no one that gives a flying fuck about me and it's all just one big fucking set up?

Fucking hell, of course I have. It's all I can fucking think about, so don't fucking lecture me. Don't you fucking dare. You don't even know.

It's only lucky I respect her more then most- I consider her a friend, want to or not. Otherwise things would get ugly.

So. Here are things, as they are.

We have a would-be murderer in our keep, one Ann wishes to use and I wish to befriend, to a degree. Under our employ, on our side- for the moment. For fuck's sake, we rescued our assasin. How fucking twisted is this? I'm pretty impressed, for one. And on the way back to our Keep, we got caught by orcs and bullied our way right the fuck out. I think he's dully respectful of us.

I'm being babysat by people who may or may not be friends, but who seem to have my best intrest at heart. I have a husband who may or may not give a fuck about me. I tell you right now, this dumb son of a bitch better be the real deal. Because if I did what I did for no reason-

We have a 'surprise' awaiting us.

Our airship- which Simon wants a ride on, just for the info-seems to be in fine shape. I don't know what Ann's hunting with this thing, or what we're meant to do with it, but it has something to do with her missing friend. This person is in the west, over the mountains, and eventually I will probably be dragged there on a rescue mission.

We have a new, tolerable emassary.


And we must discuss a course of action to take next. We have a spy in Simon, going back into the citadel, ans so I suspect we don't make a move until things with him are settled.

And now I need food and rest.

I'm tired. It's been a long fucking week.

I'm going to be ill.

There are good days and bad ones, rough days and pleasant ones. And then there are weeks that just kick your fucking ass.

This was one of those times.

It began with Illoria's death; and her subsequent return as a bear. She is now living in the woods outside of our keep.

Lim Dul just- disappeared, in a way. He was very much there, but so depressed over our losses- over the loss of a friend and someone he was clearly romantic with- he locked himself in a room and stayed.

The first thing that occurred was that we wandered down to see Garenar- Ann's goblin friend. Yes, I did just say goblin friend, and yes, he is creepy as fuck. I don't really trust the little thing, and I don't think I ever will. It's not that I dislike him, or cast him aside as bad- after all, what would I be if not hypocritial, after the mess with King, if I judged Garenar the same way Illoria judged the wolf? But he gives me the shivers, and there's just- something about him that puts me off.

Still, I'm reasonably decent to him....that is, I don't treat him any differently then I treat anyone else. Why should I, after all? If I'm going to have a reason to dislike him, it's going to be because of something he did as a person, not because what he looks like makes me uncomfortable.

Turns out our little companion now has a teacher. A cyclops teacher.....one that is a very strange being. Talron is friends with these people, this race, as I said before, and so it didn't utterly shock me to see one here. And he's generally pleasant enough, or seemed to be, in the time we got to speak with him.

But he's- an odd one. He downright scolded Ann about choosing her words more carefully, and I got caught in his little lesson as well. Like so many other races I've met since starting this, he seemed wise, in a way, and very different from myself. I don't know what I think of him. He makes me a bit uncomfortable, and yet not.

After we left him, Ann went her own way and I headed back into the keep, where I was promptly assaulted by the Ambassador from the citadel. I felt- almost bad, having to put him off until dinner. But the more he spoke, the less I liked him. By the end of our brief conversation, I felt little to no remorse about making him wait even another two weeks. Prick.

Back inside, I informed Talron of almost everything that occurred with the diary and the vampires, the dryder and the strange shadow woman that guarded that fucking book. After that I got a bath and rested a bit, before finding Ann. It was time to deal with the ambassador from the citadel. That- did not go well. I invited him to talk over dinner, but the more we spoke, the more downhill things went.

Elves, I am finding, are incredibly stubborn. Ann is not only stubborn, she's ornery. And when she takes it into her head to push, she pushes just as far as she can. Lim was in no state to join us to discuss with the ambassador, and so it came down to Ann and I.

Now, I'm a more mild person, usually. I don't like to make waves if I know I can't swim in 'em, and when someone makes a proposition I think is fair and understandable, I'm not going to argue with it, even if all of me doesn't really like it. When he named the tax price, I saw no problem with his stated price and was willing to pay it. Perhaps argue it a little, just to see what would come of it; but generally more then willing to say 'okay'. But Ann had to question things.

That's when we got a bit of a surprise. Turned out the citadel had been working to protect our keep for months now; protecting us and it, at least to a point. He dragged out papers signed by Grand Deacon (funny, when we first met him he wasn't nearly that important) Helix Mandrell himself.

Now, this man my companions have worked with and for a few times. I've only met him once or twice myself, but he seems like a decent guy. But there's something about him I don't trust- we've had bad dealings with the clergy, besides, and he's a member of it. But his signature seemed legit, and that meant everything we were being shown also was legit.

We were told, now that we knew about this protection, we owed the citadel for it. The price went up to over four hundred gold up front, and still one twenty a month following. Still a decent deal, and an understandable reason behind it.

But Ann just would not fucking stop. And the man sent from the citadel was an asshole anyway, aggressive and irritable from the start.

The whole mess ended with him storming out yelling insults. I followed, pretty pissed off myself at the whole situation.

We had dinner- a second dinner, a private one- later that night with our gusts. We told Shane and Thalice about a little girl in the citadel, one we'd found months back. She could cure any disease, it seemed, and had, in fact, removed Lim Dul's lycanthropy.

Unfortunately, that had gotten her and her aunt kidnapped. The werewolves have them now, along with a friend of my-our- own, Min.

Thalice and Shane were none to eager to enter the citadel, though, but refused to say why. None the less, they appreciated the knowledge, and left in the morning with about half the people they'd come with-the other half stayed in this town.

After they were gone, we had only one more door to shut before going back into the citadel ourselves.

There is a man in our keep. His name is Deagon, and he claims to be a gold dragon. He's arrogant and rude enough to be one, that's for sure. Bit of a wandering eye, too. And very- confident, perhaps a little too much so.

Whatever he is, his aura- or what seems to be his aura- is blinding....litterally....and he's got magic, apparently. We annoyed him beyond what we should have last time we met him, and it was time we made amends.

Gold dragon or no, talking to Deagon is like talking in circles. Not only did we wait for fucking hours to met him- and you can only stay entertained for so long, and when you're with an elf, who has unfucking endless patience and keeps telling you to have it, too- meeting him was just about pointless.

We got no pertinent information from him, hell, could barely make sense of what we did get. Ann gave him wine, as an apology, which they both helped themselves too and I stayed way the hell away from. Thank you very much.

Well. At the very least, hopefully we have an ally or companion of sorts.

We left him, too, and proceeded to just- rest, the next couple of days. Then we prepared to head out.

The day we left, our fishing transport was attacked. One dwarf was killed.

Apparently, the citadel had withdrawn it's protection. Apparently, we needed to fix this, and fast. We rode with the caravan back to the city, and had no problems getting in.

Stop one; Ann's daddy.

Now, her father, he's on the council, or advisor to the council, something like that. I'm a fuck of a good talker, but that's where my skills end; when it comes to legal issues, I keep my nose out of it.

So when we got into the heart of the citadel to talk with him, I kept my head down and my mouth shut, primarily. He questioned her and she did the same back, primarily questions regarding our 'Toby', who her father apparently knows as well, and those of Ivy and King's ilk. Apparently, the town we were in already had been set upon by the citadel before we could warn them to be careful of those beast creatures in the woods.....not to harm them.

Typical citadel. The more I find out about 'em, the less I like 'em. And then not only do we have to pay taxes now, but affiliate ourselves with them. They want us on a leash, is what, like a good pet dog. But this particular dog ain't even a little tame. And I ain't afraid to bite.

So they got their taxes. We straightened things out with Mandrell and got us a new emissary, hopefully a better tempered one.

Now, boys and girls, this is when it gets fun.

We left Mandrell's and went back to my part of the citadel....where I knew the key to a lot of my past was.

Well, Semei's Big Fuck Up Of The Day Number One came when I very first lead Ann into the building I was fairly confident would take us to a man who could explain who or what I was- my husband. The man who's ring I wore around my neck but had only met roughly twice in memory.

Yeah, how fucked up is that?

Anyway, I- lost my head, once we got there. And, like an inexperienced idiot, I simply walked into the tunnel leading to himself, didn't even stop to make sure it wasn't trapped.

I should have let the damn building fall on me when it collapsed. A useless shit-for-brains like myself would be better off, I think. Stupid Semei.

Needless to say, my dumb ass set off a trap- only remembering I heard Ann's quiet- 'check- traps- ' before kaboom, and hello, oh, shit! and for a moment we could do nothing but go....well fuck.

So Ann came up with the brilliant idea to head out onto the street where I'd met Damon a few weeks before. I lead her out there, and we walked straight into a man prowling about.

Now, I have this really incredible armour. I mean, seriously, I love that shit. And it does this neat trick where it can look like it's not armour. I've never in my life had a reason to use that. Ever.

Found out with Semei's Big Fuck Up Of The Day Number Two that using it? Might be a good idea.

We saw the man stalking us- heard him, too- and I stepped out to confront him. But I did not expect him to be right fucking there.

I hate people smart enough to change their aim. He saw what I wore and took a nice big smack to my head instead.

If you have never had a sword's blade meet the side of your skull, I will be one to personally assure you it is Not Fun. It, in fact, kind of makes you just want to throw up and pass out. Not even the kind of throwing up and passing out that comes with getting drunk. Oh, no, at least with that you had the idea that it was worth it, damn it. No, this was just fuck's sake, stabbing me would have hurt less, and done more.

Unfortunately, it did stun the shit out of me. So I was easy to grab and use as a hostage. Luckily, Ann can also do some fast talking when she wants, and it didn't take long before this brute of a man who clobbers women half his size upside the head realized I was his- boss's?- wife.

The moment he did, I demanded to know what was going on.

And, to my surprise, he told me. well, not everything, not straight out. But enough to let me figure out I am smack bang in the middle of something huge.

He knows about the Man In Black being in my head- I assume they all do- and he knows how I wound up where I was. He knows- me- he knows about the were and the pretend dragon- he assured us, he's not a dragon- and he knows about the keep and everyone in it and- Talron.

Never in my life have I felt more like dirt then when talking to this man. I was so upset, so angry at everyone, at being kept in the dark, that I didn't once think about anyone else. I was frustrated and angry at Damon, and didn't once stop to think how Damon felt. If anything, I thought he was angry only that I was in the position he thought he should be in. And I assumed it was because I was a woman.

This man told me. Oh boy, did he ever tell me.

Which is worse- not remembering a thing about your past, or remembering everything and having to watch the person you love- and according to this man, yes, he does or did love me- not remember? And assuming, watching me with Talron, that I feel anything but strong friendship?

And yes, damn you, shut the fuck up, that is all I feel. Maybe I had a bit of a crush, once, but this changes things, doesn't it? The ring around my neck changes things. Hurting someone that loves me changes things. Being someones wife changes things.

Well, I certainly hope the dumb son of a bitch knows I probably can't cook for shit. So there.

Anyway. Most of that conversation- it's a blur. I was- so upset that I let most of it fly over my head. But I got what I needed to.

Apparently, this is an alpha force in taking down that Ulti-evil I mentioned before. It has something to do with the giant vampire we fought, the black orb we got from him, Damon and his lot, the were- apparently they're after Damon- wizards.....and lil' ol' me. And now- or maybe from the very start- Ann and Lim, as well. Illoria's part in this story has come to an end.

I'm scared to admit it, but I wonder if Lim's is close behind?

I'm tired of loosing people.

But then, this is a war. And people die in war, however subtle the battle may be.

As proven by what happened next.

The man slipped out of the ally he'd been talking to us in, and, like fools, we let him walk off. Alone.

No sooner had we turned around then we saw he'd been dragged off.

We saw too late. One of those mangy flea-ridden mutts appeared, tossing his body- his body, the body of someone who had, I assumed, protected me, who had been my friend- around like a rag doll, like a child might toss an unwanted, half-broken toy.

And when he informed me that 'another one' was down, I thought I just might loose it. It was only Ann's arm around my shoulders- where it had been for a while now, and I was only faintly aware of it- that kept me from chasing that son of a bitch down. It was only her warm hug that kept me from breaking down utterly. I'm surprised she did that; and touched, on top of it.

I didn't remember him, or even know his name. But he seemed like a good man, and he was dead because of me. Just like Min was kidnapped, because of me. Because I am stupid and selfish and keep coming back here. Because I won't leave Damon alone and let things be the way they are.

We could have taken him to the clergy- but there was a little voice in the back of my head saying bad idea. I don't know why I thought that, I just did. so we instead took the body back into the room with the path to Damon's little world, and left it there.

Ann took his sword, and I pretended not to notice. I didn't care, just then.

She also, more helpfully, copied down the image of a tattoo on his arm. Maybe that was something, maybe not. We'll find out eventually.

And with that, we left.

Ann was aware almost instantly of a man following us. I wanted a drink- hell, I wanted to get so drunk I couldn't see straight, but with a tail, that was no longer an option- as we found a tavern.

He followed us in- youngish, handsome, hair Ann apparently liked, quiet- and ignored us.

But when we left again, so did he.

We found a room for the night, and he took one that was, ironically (or then again, maybe not) right next door to ours.

Thus when we left for dinner, Ann and I made sure we changed rooms when we didn't see him come down, as well.

A good thing, too- the next day, he left.

He'd been in our old room.

And so the follower became the followee- we trailed him across down, into downtown slums land. I mean, where I was apparently from was not the best part of the citadel, but it wasn't nearly as bad as this.

This was just depressing. It didn't help my mood any. Yeah, the citadel cares about all her people. All but these people. Fucking hell.

We watched our man enter a two-story building a little ways into this butt crack of an area, and then- and then we waited. For hours.

He didn't so much come out as he was thrown out.

Literally.

Beat to hell, on top of it.

Two gaurds- hah, gaurds, more like thugs who thought they were the hottest fucking thing around- dragged him off. And we followed again.

Now, I was- already pushed way beyond what I could handle. I felt like a time bomb about to go off, so incredibly close to the edge.

When I saw these two big sons of bitches double teaming the shit out of this poor guy, it was just what I needed to slip and fall right off the cliff.

Time for some stress relief. To see how these two big, bad men did against someone not being held down who could actually defend herself.

I killed the first one before either even knew I was there.

The second I just tried to lay flat with the hilt of my dagger, but the brainless dick was too stupid to go the fuck down; I hit that fucker four or five times, and he still was up, lumbering about like a drugged up ox.

And then he called for help.

Ann was trying to get our rescue mission out of the line of fire, but she's small and slight, built for stealth and speed. This man was half-unconscious and much larger then herself. And he couldn't help. He tried, but he they'd done a hell of a number on him.

I left off trying to beat down Brainless Ox and slipped his other arm over my shoulder, wanting to get us the fuck out before anyone else showed up. This was, after all, my fault.

Oh, but it was fun.

Unfortunately, our friend wasn't as brainless as I'd have liked. After trying to punch me- that didn't go over well, and made me laugh out loud as even I'd forgotten the glamour was still on what I wore- he stuck his fingers in his mouth and started a whistle. That forced me to simply kill him. Hell, I gave him the chance to back off!

I acted too late, though, as ten more showed up, blocking our way out.

A moment's banter- playful on our end, perhaps less so on theirs- and Ann was plucking them off with her bow without so much as breaking a sweat. It was almost a waste, to see her skill and talent be put to such use. I swear she was yawning. I swear I was, too.

They tried ganging up on us, and while they got in a whack or two, nothing we needed to worry about. Togther, we killed or nearly killed every last one of them.

Then we dragged our Damsel In Distress down the ally and somewhere as safe as we could find.

And then he found out he'd been dragged from the mouth of the wolf right into the lair of the dragon.

I have to agree with him, though, when he said fate had to be fucking with him.

That man had been hired to kill us, and we'd just saved his life. Irony of ironies; and very convient, as well.

And so we found out, Ann and I, that we make a pretty fucking good interogation team. Especally when Semie isn't exactly feeling very well balanced up top and is more then willing to keep you alive for days and days. Or just flat out kill you, if you push hard enough.

Yeah. I'm still at that happy little place even now; I feel like string pulled way, way too taunt. And I will snap and hurt someone with the littlest amount of pressure.

Ann took full advanatge of my already quick temper and strained nerves. She added her own lazy purr as a perfect counterbalance to my desperate bark, her calm deliberateness to my erratic movments. She improvised well, and once I caught on to what she was doing I played up my own intensity.

And then there was the fact that we counted our kills. On Ann's fingers, in front of him. Without really meaning to impress, just- taking a tally. Can't even remember what got us on the topic. We had killed eight guys dead for sure, with two close to it.

I have never in my life seen anyone's eyes get bigger the way his did. I had to fight not to laugh. I had to fight harder at Ann's expression.

As for me, well. I wasn't acting as much as I'd liked him to think I was acting. He was hired to kill us by a group with the symbol of a scarib beatle- the same symbol that had haunted me since I'd gotten away from that place where I lost my memories. Because of our- my- orginization with Damon's group. I wanted- needed- him to talk, anyway I could get him to.

Unforutantly, this hired assassin knew nothing more, or at least, not right then. He was still beat to hell and obviously shaken up by this fast chain of events. We fed him a healing potion and made him a proposition.

If he still wanted to kill us, he was more then welcome to try.

But if he wanted better then this, free meals three times a day, no threat of getting the shit beat out of him for messing up, and, if he was loyal, people- reliable people- at his back, he could come with us.

Still shocked, but willing, he came with us.

His name, he said, was Skin. Because he liked to- collect trophies.

Ann does that, too. I swear, I am surounded by lunatics. Sur-fucking-rounded, and I have a feeling it won't get better.

I informed him that Skin was not a name, and even if he'd not given me another, I'd have refused to use it. I'd have found an annoying and infantly irritating nick name he hated and used that.

(Heh, that- actually sounds amusing. I still might do that. Must consider this new source of entertainment. After all, he's less like to hurt me then Ann is. For a few weeks, anyway.)

Besides, in my mind- new path, new name. This chapter of his life was coming to an end, and a new one- a better one?- starting. I couldn't imagine he was happy, living like this.

His name- or at least the one he gave us- is Simon.

And no one, bad person or good, deserves to live moment to moment. No one deserves to get the shit beaten out of them for fucking up, or have to watch their back constantly.

I don't know how he got into this life, but he made it sound like it wasn't voulentary. I'd be surprised to find it was.

So, with our new found, less then completly sane and less the completly decent companion, (fits in just fine, he does) we went shopping. (In two places, we kept our new friend as a kitty useing Ann's amulet. That was amusing as all hell, and when someone comes up behind you after spending two hours as a cat and meows instead of speaks, it's hard not to roll with laughter.) We got into a tight spot getting out of his part of the citadel, before that, but Ann and I can play the part of brainless floozies very well, apperantly. Although it was hard to hold the giggling, idiotic facade when my oh so sane elven counterpart asked for opiate.

But out we got, and shopping we went.

We had an assload of gold, and in a matter of hours, we were down to one fifty. Yeeeeeah.

But, on the plus side, what we bought was nessicary and useful. Plus, it never hurts to keep one's relationship with shop owners up. And what better way to do that then spend more money then you should?

We ended up with a broach for protection against posiens and such, an amulet for more defense, though aginst other things (of the more magical nature) a very incredible, very special rope, and several potions.

Which left us with a dillima. No money, no way out of the citadel. We couldn't find a ride and we didn't want to walk it. We couldn't buy horses or rent anything (no gold....) BUT.

BUT, we had a man with us now capibible of and willing to steal us a ride.

Ann was totally against the idea of horse theft. Me? I was more open minded. Kiss my ass, citadel. And all you little fucks inside.

And I will never, ever admit it, least of all to him, but jumping on a fast-moving horse?

Something that might have terrified me before now was just way too much fucking fun.

I think the lunacy is contagiouse.

And I think I might do something very stupid very soon.

I'm excited.

This is utter bullshit.

Bullshit, bullshit, bullshit bullshit, bull-fucking shit.

I feel like an idiot. Like a little girl caught in the too-fast current of a river, lucky to even keep my head above water.

I don't like being played, I don't like not knowing what the fuck is going on, I don't like change, and I don't like feeling this fucking confused and tired all the time.


Let me just- take a breath and start from the begining.

Okay, right, I'm better now. So yeah, last we left off, Lim'd headed to the Citadel to bring back reinforcments. Illoria was taken by the enemy, probably dead- although Ann got warned by- a friend, let me say, and no more then a very special friend, of ours- named Toby who knows a lot more then any human would. He warned her Illoria was alive and not to be trusted.

So yeah, we had our druid kidnapped, two kidnapped spiders-that-were-not-spiders, one very evil creature we dubbed the 'Eater' still on the loose, one hell of a powerful enemy, a bunch of dark elves that seemed to constantly be on the wrong side of the month.

Yeah, this was gonna be fun.

These beast-creature people things I don't know what went about preparing for battle. The men we'd brought up in the first place, the ones hunting for fantastic creatures at this Countess's place, they high tailed it outta there.

They're not bad guys- it's just I don't trust them. I guess the leader a little more then his men- he saved Ann's ass, after all. But whatever my feelings on them, I couldn't blame them, either.

Not their fight, not their problem. They were in this for money, not to fight a war. Hell, any other situation, and I mighta gone, too.

I stayed because Ann wanted this, and I figure I owe her one. Plus, I felt a little responsible for her, protective of her I guess, being that I was the only one not just willing to let her die to break her fucking word.

I stayed because of King, too. I was curiouse and interested in him. He seemed like a decent enough guy. Enough issues to keep you busy for a few months and a temper like fucking fire, but does that make a bad person?

I hope not, otherwise we're all screwed. If I could look pointedly at Ann here, I think I would. Imagine me doing that. And laughing. Quietly. Very quietly.

No, in all seriouseness, I have a bit of a temper, too; so does Lim, so does Illoria. (Yes, I used pressent tense, as in not dead. We'll get to that.) Ann's not the only one.

But yeah. I found big furry in the woods and thanked him for his help (got the brush off) and tried to find out who he is and who his master is. I got the brush off with that one, too. I hadn't expected anything else.

Apperantly Ann followed me, which may be part of why I didn't get my answers.

Not that I blame her or am upset at her- I don't and I'm not. She followed me to make sure I didn't die. But King was aware of her before I was, and maybe reluncant to share for that reason. Or maybe he just didn't want to tell me. Who knows? Anyway, he refused to help with the upcoming battle, and after he'd informed me Ann was following me (and that he'd killed Shane's best friend, now brought back in the form of a huge white ape) he slipped off again.

Yeah, King killed Shane's friend. We'd known it was a werewolf. But even then, I withheld judgment. There are two sides to every story. And somehow I doubted this was just cold blooded murder for the fun of it.

This whole plotline was way too complex for that. Shane and Ivy and King and Talice- the elven lord(?) currently residing over the town under attack- was such a twisted tangle that we all might wind up strangling in it.

So, finnally, hours later, Lim gets back.

Bringing a fucking battleship.

Elven warship, it turned out, filled to the brim. Elves, wizards, clerics, human soilders, everything but the fucking building. There were over two hundered people inside that ship. And there were our beast-creature army on the ground, along with Shane. Even without the aid of a powerhouse were, I started to feel much more optomistic.

Our attack began roughly two hours before nightfall. Quietly at first; then the arrival of our air forces, and with their approch, all fucking hell broke loose.

I hate to admit it, but it was fun. In a terrifying, exhillarating way. In one great rush, our beast people- sorry, the beast people- charged, full fucking speed, on all fours like the animals they partly were, and started devistating a path inside. Arrows flew to meet them, but they didn't even flinch.

I didn't get to see much beyond that- I was too busy fighting myself. All of us were. I was dully aware of Ann's arrows, of bursts of magic illuminating the sky around me, destorying the woodland around me in great, burning balls of fire that passed by way too close to be entirely comfortable.

Of course, the enemy matched us.

Once inside, we were surrounded by the hum of magic, of power.

Oh hell yeah, things were going our way.

Even when the beholders popped up.

Now, these things, beholders- they're scary fucks, they are. Imagine a floating ball of dog shit, just as big or bigger then a person. Now, cover this stinkin' peice of unnatural filth with eyes and a way-too-big mouth with teeth like a preditor. Give it a pretty little attina right on top of it's ugly head. Now, add in a nasty ass attitude and just enough brains to be worried about, and you got yourself a rough sketch of a beholder.

They started nullifing the magic around us. They can do that.

I told you, nasty little shits.

But with our forces, we got worried for about two seconds. Then the beast creatures jumped on these turds with eyes and when they used magic to lash back, well, so did our side.

Yeah, fuck you, too. Heh.

And deeper into the mouth of the enemy we went.

We then had to face the Eater itself- the strange thing that killed me. Now, lemme tell you, this thing is so fucking scary to look at- it's not like anything you've ever seen. Ever. In fact, you mostly can't look at it; it's so bad it'll scare you stiff, like it did Ann.

So we go charging in, and just like that, we all freeze up.

I don't really know what happened. All I heard was Lim scream. Forever, it seemed like. I get the shivers, now. I understand that scream.

Then something slammed into our enemy and saved his ass.

Gerar- the big ape that used to be Shane's friend, before King killed him. That monster tackled the real monster, and they started grappling.

Now, this is the odd bit.

The moment I could move again, I saw her- this tiny little gnome in the corner. She was staring at the thing, unable to move or speak until I yanked her around so she wasn't looking at it. She blinked and shook herself.

Now, Lim had come back with more then an army. He'd brought pressents, too. One was a box; a big chest. He'd said he'd gotten it from the man he left our Spindler with.

The gnome ran over to heal- yes, I said heal, apperantly she could- Lim, and when he could, he rose and opened that box. He had a stone he'd gotten from the man, too, and no sooner did he pull it out then did the thing in the box- all gears and metal peices- reach out and snatch it inside.

The little one nearly had a hissy fit. She was babbling about the Taint and whatnot- the Taint being an- illness(?)- that turns people into....things that aren't. People, that is, if you catch my meaning. Not exactly sure what it does to them. If I've seen it, I forget, honestly, and I don't have a mind to find out. I just know it turns you into something less or more then human then kills you.

I was less then concerned with it at the moment.

We pretty generally ignored the poor thing or brushed her off. I mean, the thing that came out of this box-

The others had seen something like it before. They'd told me about it, called it Garlic, though Ann said it had another name. But from what else they told me, I don't think I'd better say much more about it. Like I said the first time I wrote, if someone finds this....Yeah. I've probably said enough already to fuck us all.

So this this, this mechanical person, almost, comes out of the box and starts hacking apart whatever Lim tells it to. This thing moves like the best fighter or swordsman you can imagine, almost. In another situation, I may have been happy just to watch. Pretty facinating.

But we had other things to do. We had a dryder to get at.

Lim called this thing- they've started calling it Gensing, for fuck's sake, what is with the fucking plants?- off of whatever he had it fighting at the moment and brought it- him- down into the main room with us. Where this creature was supposed to be.

See, this is where we fucked up like, majorly bad.

Normally we don't just rush in without a plan. But we did this time. And we shot down the first thing that moved in the room.

Which just happened to be Illoria.

Yeah. Yeah, we killed the druid. Or rather, Ann and Lim did. But I didn't exactly stop them. Bit of a shock when the dead body of your companion drops down in front of you, just about naked as you please and pretty throughly ravaged.

Yeah, Ann got pissed. I just got a little sick to my stomach.

Lim drags her body out of the room and this fucking laughter starts up, like this thing's just so fucking smart. Ann's hollaring taunts back like a child, temper clicked on full, but the laughter was all there was. Well, that and a dark elf.

She got away, though. I mean, I was right there, ready to just impale the bitch- Ann had already tried- after some of the shit the stupid, blind sheep said to us, but she vanished like a shadow before I got the chance.

In other words, they all ran away. Cowardly fucks. They ran, the temple we fought them in fell. Collapsed back under the ground just as we got out.

The little gnome lady offered to preserve Illoria's body until we could find a way to heal her spirit and bring her back to life.

Now see, here things get tricky. Toby said that Illoria was taken, was the enemy now. I'm sorry, but I was for burning her and making sure that whatever may have corrupted her was well and truely dead.

But Lim- he was desperate to save her. Funny, the tables were turned only weeks ago, when Ann lay close to death and I wanted to save her . Illoria and Lim wanted her dead.

Anyway, I stopped caring halfway through the argument.

He loaded her body up on the airship, and here came round two.

See, Lim was also determined to wage a war on another race. That of vampires that we knew, now, were in that same little town. We knew of at least one there.

Apperantly there were more. I didn't pay much attention when Lim informed us he was lashing out at the vampires, but I sure as fuck did when the clergy he sent out there came back hours later.

Dead.

And pissed.

And ugly as fuck.

And did I mention pissed?

I have never in my life done a three sixty the way I did that night. Seriously. It was- 'look, injured, I think I'll be selfless for once and try to help!'

'.....oh FUCK!'

I think I threw dirt backwards, I ran back to that airship so fast.

Undead and Seimi do not a good combination make.

Luckily, they dispersed pretty quickly. And into the airship we all clambered, ready to get the hell away. Except for Ann, who had 'unfinished business' below and was bound and determined to get herself killed by going back down.

I followed her, of course. I knew what was down there, and I wasn't leaving it to her alone. They refused to let us stay down or stop to let us off, so we repelled off the side of a moving airship. And, with the deft grace and skill known to our class of people, with the acrobatic ease and talented, lithe manipulation of our bodies to take any damage from a fall and come out on top-

-we both landed wrong and had bruises for the next week.

After out recovery- we didn't do that, you didn't see a thing, damn you- we were left below, in the monistary.

We came under attack not long after. Ghosts. Spirits, reliving- something. Fuck only knows what. But we soon found out they were doing something else, too- holding off the vampires outside. Lotta good it did; within minutes, they were in.

And behind these undead creatures came one trumped them all. Ivy.

I know, big shock, right? We'd all known she wasn't exactly normal. Though I, for one, hadn't fully expected vampire. Still, I was not stunned.

Behind her came King. Ivy made her way in, past what I could only assume were underlings of a sort, and embraced Ann.

And then bit her.

I tensed, of course, and my hand drifted without real conciouse thought to my dagger, but King was right there, a big warning not to move, not to even blink wrong......and I didn't really want to.

I wasn't getting threatening vibes, here. No danger vibes at all. Just uncertianty and confusion.

She pulled back after a moment, and started to speak.

She explained everything; every lie, every deception- well, maybe not every, but I'm sure close to every as she ever got. She explained why she'd done the things she'd done, she and Thalice and Shane, manipulating us into trying to get that diary, playing us like a game of chess, and then ended on a depressing note; the damned thing'd been stolen anyway.

Because of Lim and his big fucking fast ass can't keep it shut mouth.

Besides that lovely jewl of information, we also had the news that the town we'd fought so hard to save was lost. We'd lost it, again thanks to Lim, mostly.

I'm going to kill him. Murder his stupid, pretend-grand ass.

I then got the pleasure of being thanked by King. For not judging him too quickly. But like I told him, it's not the race, it's the person. And I happen to think he's a decent guy. So there, Illoria, fuck you. Humph. And we got some pretty kick ass allies, from what I gathered.

And I also got the pleasure of being a fucking voyure for a moment or too, watching Ann and Ivy dancing their little seduction act together. Yea, Ann's all hot 'n bothered for Ivy, and Ivy's got the itchies for her, too. Now, I don't got a problem in the world with that- ain't the gender of the person you love, it's the person- but come on. I do not want to sit there and watch you two suck on each other and get all catty and coy.

Get a room, for fuck's sake!

Damn, Illoria and Lim (I swear, they have a thing.) and now what, Ann and Ivy? I'm feeling all left out in the cold here.

Of course, all I got to do is touch the ring around my neck for that to change. I'm apperantly married, like I said before, and I mean, we had to be in love once for that to happen, right?

I....really hope so. I'm not entirely sure that's true.

Anyway. Vampire-romance moment over, Ivy told us Thalice and Shane- brothers, by the way, and not mortal enemies as we were lead to belive, and not elven, either- were on the move, and Thalice, at least, had wished to get to know us better.

That sentiment was and is returned.

She told us where they were going, and we moved to cut them off. Luckily for us we stopped in town to see if there was anyone around or anyone that needed help, otherwise we coulda been looking for a really long time.

Thalice and Shane had gathered all the towns people in one building for the night, and were preparing to move out in the morning. He saw us as we were investigating the inn- or maybe he heard us, we weren't exactly being quiet- but he waved us inside. We didn't know it was him until he removed his helm, and yeah, that was a well. Aren't we just stupid? moment.

He was taking these people somewhere safe, over the mountians to the west, he explained. He'd decided to stop pretending to be a leader and start really being one. He lead us to Shane, and we discussed more there- about the diary and Shane and Gerar and King and Thalic and Ivy, about where they would go and what they would do. Turned out Shoulwater- one of the two places we call home- was right on the way to where they were going, and so we decided to travel with them. And allow them to stay in one of our two- yes, you heard me right, two- keeps for the night.

We also got to make yet another interesting new friend.

A gargoyle. He lurked in the shadows behind Shane and Thalice, yet another creature used to being judged and feared. I was really starting to hate being classed in a group of people called 'humans' who stupidly judged and feared whatever they didn't control or understand.

Personally, I think he was pretty incredible. Scary yes, but incredible.

I think my favorite moment of that night was when Ann could not stop staring at him, and he became instantly defensive. 'What'? He grunted, in this kind of akward, really deep voice.

'You're amazing'. Was Ann's reply, and it was all I could do not to just burst out laughing right there. Sometimes, she sticks her foot in her mouth. And then there are times when she just saves the day.

Both Thalice and the creature seemed pleased.

At least, until they saw the bite wounds.

They didn't make a huge deal out of it, besides warning her to find darkness by morning. She refused to hide from the sun, and I was given a heavy black cloak by one of the brothers. Just in case, as he said.

And so we headed out the next morning.

Here's where Illoria comes back into the story, folks.

Remember I said Lim took her to the Citadel, deseperate to find a way to help her? It um- sort of worked, anyway. Lim couldn't bring her back there, so he came to out keep with her body. And then he did something kind of stupid. He asked the dryad living in the woods near our keep to bring her back.

Illoria is now a black bear. And Lim Dul.....he's not worth much, the state he's in.

So, we got home.

Only to find it- utterly differant. We had an accountant, now, and a system to move the fish in the business we'd set up too and from places- dwarven transport, tracks, lifts, everything running smoothly like a real business.

And in it all, of course, was Lord Talron, right at the heart. He'd taken over everything just as though he belonged there, and, after recovering from my imprumptue hug, informed us he was staying.

Yeah. Okay. I'm exhausted, terrified, sore, worn down, and now have to deal with an emarrasry from the citadel. One of my friends is dead, and that is something to certianly be remorseful about.....to a degree.

But overall?

Things are looking up. Hehe.